I wannas sexs uuuuu
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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