dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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