we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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