I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
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