That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
