He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Randomize
