i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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