My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
