hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
The Olympian is in my bed
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
