We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
