it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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