Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
