I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
