im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
