I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
