There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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