He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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