You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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