I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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