why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize