it's not cheating when I paid for it
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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