Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
