My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
