im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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