The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Randomize
