I cockslap morals
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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