So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
