I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize