Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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