I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
