he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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