the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
