It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize