Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
