do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
