Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Randomize
