I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
