i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Randomize
