why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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