she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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