Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
