I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
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He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
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Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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