A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
