you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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