We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
