I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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