Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize