my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm getting married
To pizza
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
