Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Farmville is her only friend.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
