Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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