My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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