my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
