no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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