Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
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Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
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Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
so much tequila, so little girl.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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