haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
