another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
