haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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