I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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