I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Randomize
