He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I could fuck to npr.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
