Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
