She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
